Action Movie Catch-Up

Lockout
Release Date: April 13th, 2012 
Tomatometer: 36% (114 reviews)
Cineblog Rating: 5/10

Guy Pearce stars as Kurt Russell in the next chapter of John Carpenter's critically acclaimed "Escape" series in Escape From Space. Well, not really but kinda. The story for Lockout may seem a bit familiar: a loose cannon on the edge who doesn't play by the rules is captured for crimes against the world government and the only way he'll be pardoned is if he infiltrates some kind of criminal detention facility and rescue the president's daughter. Despite this, it's hard to not have fun. Guy Pearce's character, Snow, is chock full of clever one-liners and the action is overall pretty decent. In the end, Lockout is a loving homage to gritty 1980s action movies, featuring all the cheesy tropes and techniques that populate the genre. Have you seen it all before? Yes. Does that make it bad? Not necessarily.

So Pretty Much: While Lockout may be an eye-patch short of being a brilliant action film, it's decent enough to enjoy.

Wrath of the Titans

Release Date: March 30th, 2012

Tomatometer: 25% (152 reviews)

Cineblog Rating: 5/10

Wrath of the Titans was okay. It has big action sequences, Greek mythological figures out the wazoo, and Liam Neeson. One may wonder what more you could want. The only answer is for all that stuff to just be better. The action sequences were alright, but some dragged on and weren't as fun or exciting as action should be. The amalgamation (which is a fancy word for mixing everything up) of Greek mythos was stretched. Mythological creatures were taken out of their respective myths and legends and thrown into Perseus's path simply because they're recognizable, and that felt kind of crappy. As far as Liam Neeson goes, I wanted him to punch more things. For reasons I'm still not entirely sure of, Liam Neeson is at his finest when he's beating things to a bloody pulp. Every director should take a page from Luc Besson and just have Neeson fight everything. That would have made for an awesome movie.

So Pretty Much: If the action was better, the Greek myths weren't thrown together like a pointless mess, and Liam Neeson punched more stuff, Wrath of the Titans would have been a much more enjoyable movie.

Catch-Up & The Hunger Games

Ghost Rider
Cineblog Rating: 5/10
So Pretty Much: Ghost Rider isn't great by any means, but it's incredibly fun and showcases Nicolas Cage's full acting range: stoic, insane, and head-on-fire-insane.

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
Cineblog Rating: 6/10
So Pretty Much: Journey 2 is a roller coaster ride of a movie that even adults won't be able to help but enjoy. Also, who can deny Dwayne Johnson's smile?



Act of Valor
Cineblog Rating: 5/10
So Pretty Much: Act of Valor pits Navy Seals against Bond-villainesque Chechen terrorists in a movie that is both action-packed and touching, despite somewhat lackluster performances.

John Carter
Cineblog Rating: 4/10
So Pretty Much: John Carter was average. Pretty much everything it brings to the table has been seen before in one way or another, and it makes for a very forgettable movie.

Silent House
Cineblog Rating: 5/10
So Pretty Much: Silent House features a brilliant performance from Elizabeth Olsen, younger sister of the infamous twins, and also has some incredible camerawork, but it suffers from its predictable story.

21 Jump Street
Cineblog Rating: 6/10
So Pretty Much: 21 Jump Street is fantastic, a loving homage to both buddy-cop and teenage comedy films that isn't afraid to be itself when it has to be. It's still in theaters, go see it.

The Hunger Games
Cineblog Rating: 5/10

The Hunger Games was okay. It's getting tons of hype because it's based on a teen novel with a dedicated fan base, but it honestly doesn't stack up. The Hunger Games builds up such an intricate and fascinating universe, filled with sociopolitical commentary on today's world, but then completely abandons it once we're in the Arena. The movie seemed so focused on cramming in the details of the book that it misses the big ideas completely. Where I wanted to see audience reactions to the Games and how everyone at home felt about watching their Tributes brutally hunt and kill each other, I was left unsatisfied. And, because of The Hunger Games' inclusion of most of the book, the audience has no chance to foster relationships with its characters, leading some of the events to seem unrealistic, making the viewers feel almost cheated.

The Hunger Games is a great example of how sticking too close to the source material can actually harm rather than help a movie. The only thing left for me to do is hope the sequels answer the questions that the first movie didn't.

So Pretty Much: The Hunger Games has some great performances and okay action, but overall left me starving for more, and definitely not in a good way.

This Means War

Release Date: February 17th, 2012
Tomatometer: 25% (112 reviews)
Cineblog Rating: 6/10

This week I had the opportunity to go to a "sneak preview" of this film, so while most people couldn't see it until the 17th, I saw it on the 14th. That really doesn't mean much, I just thought it was kind of cool. Anyway,

This Means War is essentially the Spy vs. Spy comic strips in movie form. FDR and Tuck, played by Chris Pine and Tom Hardy respectively, are CIA agents and best friends who have been "grounded" for accidentally being loud and obnoxious while shooting tons of people and stopping terrorists. After a series of chance events, both FDR and Tuck begin dating the same girl, Lauren Scott (Reese Witherspoon). The two decide to turn it into a competition, using their CIA resources to win over the girl, all the while one of the terrorists FDR and Tuck stopped is tracking them down to enact his revenge.

This is not a great movie. This movie will not be remembered hundreds of years from now as a cinematic wonder. Honestly, this movie will probably not be remembered next year, and might even be forgotten by this time next month. But dammit, I had so much fun watching it. This Means War was packed with so much over-the-top action, ridiculous pranks and humorous banter that it seems almost impossible to not enjoy watching. It never tries to be anything but exactly what it is: a mindless, actiony rom-com, and that's why This Means War works.

So Pretty Much: This Means War is nothing but cheesy, mindless, action-packed fun, and that's exactly why you should go see it.

Woman in Black

Release Date: February 2nd, 2012
Tomatometer: 64% (147 reviews)
Cineblog Rating: 3/10

Think of the most stereotypical horror movie ever. Imagine a haunted house, ghosts everywhere, a hero that investigates everything he shouldn't, a curse that can only be solved by digging up a somebody's skeleton, and fog. So much fog. Fog everywhere. Now make the main character everyone's favorite wizard, and you're starting to get the idea. Unfortunately, however, not even having Harry Potter as the lead can make this movie magical.

The Woman in Black is the story of Arthur Kipps, a young lawyer and father, who is searching through the now abandoned Eel Marsh House to find the last known will of Alice Drablow, who had previously lived there. What Arthur finds instead is a dark secret plaguing the townsfolk and taking the lives of the local children. With time running out, Arthur must stop the ghostly Woman in Black before it's too late, or risk losing the life of his child as well. Dun dun duuuun.

To be quite honest, this movie wasn't very frightening. While certain scenes had potential, The Woman in Black overall fails to deliver on scares. Perhaps the reason for this is that the only reason these scares happen is because Arthur Kipps is an idiot. He sees what is clearly a face in the window, acknowledges that there was a face in the window and then runs upstairs, unarmed, to check out the face and perhaps even the body it was attached to. And, as if that wasn't enough, when he sees that there is no one around, he resumes working. For reasons like that, the viewer feels more angry at Kipps than afraid for him. I mean, if he wants to walk into a room that could potentially have an axe murderer in it without grabbing so much as a knife or a sharp stick or something, then maybe he should die a terrible and painful death.

All of that aside, the worst part about The Woman in Black is the ending. It had me feel cheated and upset that I sat in the theater for an hour and a half just to have that happen. I won't reveal what that is here, but ask me about it sometimes and I'll gladly share. Absolutely dreadful.

The best part about The Woman in Black, however, was that Danielle Radcliffe is in it. Having him as the main character meant that me and my friends were making Harry Potter jokes the entire time. Whenever something creepy or unexplained happened, we would hum the Hogwarts theme music. Every cloaked character became a dementor and every time Kipps lit a candle, we imagined him casting lumos. Still, probably wasn't worth it.

So Pretty Much: The Woman in Black is boring, the ending is stupid and Harry Potter isn't enough of a reason to go see it.

Chronicle

Release Date: February 3rd, 2012
Tomatometer: 85% (133 reviews)
Cineblog Rating: 6/10

If you combined I Am Number Four with Cloverfield with Animorphs with Take Me Home Tonight with Captain Planet and the Planeteers with Star Wars: Episode III, then you'd pretty much have this movie.

Chronicle is yet another found footage film, told from the point of view of Andrew Detmer, a social reject who decides to film his life. One night at a party, Andrew, his cousin and the most popular kid in school all discover a cavern leading deep into the Earth. At the bottom of this cave is a glowing rock that gives the three kids super powers. But while his friends want to use the powers for silly pranks and personal gain, Andrew has darker intentions.

I didn't realize that this was a found-footage film until it was too late, which made me angry. But I very quickly got over that fact because the story allows for some camera movement not generally seen in the genre, which was a nice change. However, despite this, I feel like it could have been better. I don't want to say Chronicle is bad, because it's not. But while some parts are awesome, other parts are laughable, and all of it just sort of evens out. And the main character reminds me a lot of Anakin Skywalker, just so angsty and annoying. But then again, they also destroy a good portion of Seattle in a really cool superhero battle. Hmm...

So Pretty Much: Chronicle is pretty good, especially considering it's another found footage film and the hero is as likable as really burnt toast.

Man on a Ledge

Release Date: January 27th, 2012
Tomatometer: 33% (135 reviews)
Cineblog Rating: 5/10

Honestly, I didn't expect much from this movie. I hadn't been particularly impressed from the trailers, and the premise of the movie didn't really seem all that spectacular to me. The main reason I was sitting down to watch it was so that I could make a joke about how this movie wanted to make me stand on a ledge. But, surprisingly, when the credits rolled, I wasn't quite ready to make the jump.

Man on a Ledge is about exactly what it sounds like, a man standing on a ledge. Nick Cassidy enters the Roosevelt Hotel under a false name and promptly climbs out onto a ledge on the 21st floor. The people on the streets below quickly take notice and call the police, who section off the block. But Nick won't speak to just any police negotiator and Detective Lydia Mercer is brought to the scene to unravel Cassidy's past and talk him off the ledge.

Pretty much everything in Man on a Ledge you've seen before in half a dozen other cheesy action thrillers, so if you're looking for something original or revolutionary and ground-breaking, this absolutely isn't the movie for you. But, if you don't mind watching a cut-and-pasted together homage to action crime heist thrillers (which I certainly don't mind every now and then), then you can really have a lot of fun watching Man on a Ledge. Just remember, watch your footing.

So Pretty Much: If you're not expecting much more than a mindless thriller, then take a leap of faith with Man on a Ledge.

The Grey

Release Date: January 27th, 2012
Tomatometer: 77% (156 reviews)
Cineblog Rating: 7/10

What I had expected: A film about one man's mission to genocide every wolf in Alaska after one of them kidnaps his daughter.

What I actually watched: A film packed with both action and emotion about a group of men struggling to survive the harsh Alaskan wilderness. And wolves.

The Grey tells the story of John Ottway, a hunter whose job is to protect an Alaskan oil drilling team from wolves, and six others whose plane crashes on their way home, stranding the group in the middle of nowhere. After an attack on their makeshift camp, the men realize they are in the center of wolf territory, and must move on before they all get picked off.

Admittedly, there was certainly less wolf-punching than expected, but the focus of The Grey is not on the Liam Neeson-based action but rather on the humanity of the characters, the relationships they build and their struggles to cope with the situation they find themselves in. The Grey builds incredibly realistic characters that the audience really learns to care for. We share in their stories, find out what makes them tick and see what they fight to live for. In the end, that's what makes The Grey a movie worth watching. Although the wolf parts are pretty cool too.

So Pretty Much: The Grey isn't exactly Taken With Wolves, but it's still an exciting movie. You should go see it.